‘Someone That Loses Their Temper Is in My Opinion, Less of a Man’: Rethinking Masculinity Through the Perspectives of Men Living With Intellectual Disabilities

Abstract Men living with intellectual disabilities are often denied full recognition as adult sexual subjects due to ongoing ableist and infantilizing discourses that frame them as either innocent and childlike or dangerous and uncontrolled. These narratives restrict how they can express sexuality and masculinity and situate them outside the realm of legitimate manhood. Drawing on critical disability studies, Crip Theory and Cute Studies, this chapter will examine how men living with intellectual disabilities understand, negotiate and reimagine masculinity under conditions that include surveillance and exclusion. Using qualitative interviews from 12 participants, we explore how participants articulate different forms of masculinity that depart from the hegemonic ideals of dominance, autonomy and emotional restraint, emphasizing kindness, care and belonging instead. Findings suggest that participants defined masculinity through non-violence, respect and emotional intimacy rather than aggression or control. Their narratives highlight a soft masculinity that is grounded in care and self-awareness, which challenges patriarchal norms that equate manhood with power and independence. While some participants expressed ambivalence about independence and productivity, their emphasis on connection, tenderness and non-violence demonstrates a resistance to ableist and heteronormative expectations. By highlighting men’s own voices, this study moves beyond deficit-based portrayals to show the creative, affective and resistant ways that they inhabit and transform masculinity. As a result, it calls for the reimagining of manhood that values interdependence, emotional honesty and care as central rather than secondary to masculine identity.