Exploring Sexual Reminiscing After the Death of a Romantic Partner

The death of a romantic partner results in major changes to the surviving partner's psychological and physical well-being, yet post-bereavement sexual experiences are often disregarded in both research and clinical settings. Continuing bonds theory suggests that an internal emotional bond can persist between the bereaved and the memory of the deceased after the physical end of the relationship; that is, continuing bonds are often maintained through reminiscing about the deceased. On this premise, we suggest and demonstrate that sexual bonds are also maintained through reminiscing. A sample of 165 Canadian individuals who were bereaved of a prior romantic partner were recruited via Leger panels, social media, and online grief forums to complete an online survey. Sexual reminiscing was very common (80.5% of participants sexually reminisced about the deceased), frequent (31.8% of participants sexually reminisced about the deceased once a week or more), and generally positively valenced. We used multiple regression to understand who sexually reminisced more frequently and who evaluated those experiences as more positive. Results indicated that stronger general continuing bonds, higher past sexual satisfaction with the deceased, and higher posttraumatic growth were positively associated with sexual reminiscing frequency, while stronger continuing emotional bonds and past sexual satisfaction were positively associated with sexual reminiscing valence. Findings regarding their relevance to individuals and clinicians (e.g. couples and grief therapists) are discussed.