AIs have been deliberately presented as everything tools that can do a fabulous arrayof tasks in higher education. This presentation is misleading, and there is a need toexamine the claims about what AIs can do and what they actually do in the context ofteaching and learning. In this paper I show how discussions about AI hinge on makinga large number of unverified claims (Gish Gallop) while presenting the technology asinevitable (a False Dilemma). However, once we examine what the technology does,and particularly what it does to whom and for whom, widespread adoption of AI inteaching and learning is inimical to the principles that most institutions of highereducation claim to hold dear.